Theology
Hell Confirmed To Be Eternal Ride On 'It's A Small World'

HELL—Millions have converted to Christ upon the revelation that hell would simply be one endless ride on Disney's It's A Small World attraction. The ride will be completely unaltered except it will be hotter than the version at Disneyland.

Those arriving in the place of eternal torment will be loaded on the boats and sent around. While they may think it's just the start of their stay in hell, the ride will actually never end, just going around and around for limitless eons.

"We carefully considered the various forms of torture available to us but finally decided that the best punishment would simply be riding around and around hearing those infernal little animatronic demon children sing for all eternity," said one middle manager at hell's corporate headquarters. "It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small, small world!"

"See, even I can't get that blasted song out of my head. Make it stop!"

The move was quickly reversed as it was decided that the punishment was too severe, even for those who have offended a holy God.

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