Having Kids: Pros and Cons
Family · Jan 9, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

Children are a blessing from the Lord! But are you ready for the responsibilities and trials of parenthood?

Our panel of experts has compiled a list of pros and cons to help you decide if you're ready to be fruitful and multiply.


Pro: Adorable little babies whose cheeks you just want to chew (gross).

Con: Turn into punk teenagers you really want to punch in the face (and not chew).


Pro: They say things like, "You're the best mom/dad."

Con: Also things like, "I need money."


Pro: Always someone around who wants to play board games.

Con: They want to play Candy Land: Legacy.


Pro: An army of warriors for Christ who can change the world is within your grasp!

Con: They may choose a gender studies major instead.


Pro: They look really cute in dinosaur onesies.

Con: They're basically useless until they're 5.


Pro: You can see the world anew through their eyes.

Con: They won't care about half the stuff you show them.


Pro: You get to teach them to be just like you.

Con: They grow up to be just like you.


Pro: You'll experience new emotions you never knew existed.

Con: Harry Chapin's "Cat's in the Cradle" will make you cry every time.


Pro: The instant spiritual connection you have with the baby will make you believe in a soul.

Con: You'll become more aware of your sin. Ouch!


So... do you think you're ready? If you don't think you are, you should have some kids anyway. It'll be good for you.


Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.

Watch Santa's retirement announcement

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