CAMBRIDGE, MA—After Lisa Page finally spoke out against President Trump, masterfully painting herself as the target of Trump's oppression and misogyny, Harvard University quickly hired the former FBI lawyer to teach an upper-level course on how to turn yourself into the victim in any situation.
The course will cover various situations, from getting caught having an affair with a co-worker to conspiring to overthrow a republic, and teach students how to make themselves out to be the victim in any of these scenarios.
"The way Page had an affair and then conspired with her lover to sabotage a democratic election and THEN made herself out to be the victim -- that's the kind of expertise we look for here at our prestigious university," said a spokesperson. "This is the sort of 4D chess we need to teach our students."
Harvard staff praised Page for harnessing the left's hate against Trump and using it to generate sympathy for herself.
"See how she didn't take any responsibility for her wrongdoings, but instead managed to blame patriarchy, misogyny, and President Trump for everything? She's clearly a pro."
Disgraced congresswoman Katie Hill will co-teach the class.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.