WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump's attempt to solve the long-running hostage situation between Israel and Hamas hit an obstacle today, as Hamas convinced a Biden-appointed federal judge to overturn Trump's order to release their hostages.
On Monday, Trump issued a stern ultimatum to Hamas to release all remaining hostages by noon on Saturday or face dire consequences, but sources confirmed that Hamas leaders obtained a ruling from a judge appointed by the previous administration to effectively tie Trump's hands.
"The President of the United States has no legal right to do anything, ever," said Judge Gregory Chandler. "The Constitution simply does not contain any provisions that allow the president to act in any way to do anything. I hereby declare President Trump's order for Hamas to release its hostages unconstitutional and void. Hamas may continue to keep innocent people captive and treat them however they choose without consequence. I have spoken!"
Legal experts confirmed that Trump was now powerless. "Federal judges are the supreme authority in the United States and, dare I say, the world," said Harvard Law Professor Bertram Westfield. "People often mistakenly believe that the United States is ruled by three branches of government — executive, legislative, and judicial — with checks and balances for each. In reality, however, federal judges have the power to declare whatever they want and wield omnipotent power over all elected officials and the Constitution itself. This is just reality."
At publishing time, former President Joe Biden issued a statement praising Judge Chandler for holding firm to his commitment to preserving the right for federal judges to act willy-nilly and prevent the government from functioning.
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