SACRAMENTO, CA - California governor Jerry Brown signed an executive order Tuesday re-opening the internment camps utilized to illegally detain Japanese citizens during World War II in order to forcibly imprison anyone who misgenders another individual by using the wrong pronoun for him, her, or them.
The camps will be open for offenders by January 2018.
"Use the darn pronouns or shut up," Brown said in a press conference. "Tolerance is so important to us in this great state that we can no longer tolerate those who disagree."
"Every American has the right to free speech, so long as it agrees with the spirit of the age," he added.
The governor has also reportedly okayed the expenditure of up to $7.5 billion on a state-of-the-art alarm system that will allow citizens to press a button on a nearby kiosk or using their smartphone, summoning a team of state "thought police" to carry the offending pronoun user away, "no questions asked."
The measure will be funded by a 3,000% increase on the state's modest gasoline taxes, sources confirmed.