MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—In a move showing remarkable veneration for one of the most pivotal events in human history, internet search giant Google marked the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation by not making any mention of it at all on its home page.
The corporation, which often pays homage to significant birthdays, holidays, and historic milestones by changing its familiar header for the day, stated Tuesday that the Reformation anniversary was much too important to celebrate with juvenile clip art. “We’re just a web search company,” a spokesperson told reporters. “We thought a silly video about Halloween was much more our speed.”
“We’re talking about the 500th anniversary of one of the most significant events of all time,” they added.
“Besides,” the spokesperson added, “modern ideas we claim to embrace, like individualism, freedom of expression, and personal responsibility for educating one’s self, all stem from the Reformation. Why should we demean such a significant event with a simple Google Doodle?”