Politics
Giggling Trump Prank Calls Merrick Garland To Tell Him He's Been Shortlisted For SCOTUS

WASHINGTON, D.C.—It can’t be said President Trump doesn’t have a sense of humor. The rascally president shared a recording of a prank call he did in which he called up Judge Merrick Garland and told him he was on his shortlist for Supreme Court Justice.

“When I heard Ruth Bader Ginsburg died, I said to myself, ‘There is only one man for the job,’” Trump told Garland over the phone while barely holding back laughter.

“Wow, I didn’t think you’d consider me,” Garland said.

“Are you kidding me? How could I consider anyone else?” Trump then had to turn away from the phone to let out a laugh. “Sorry, something in my throat. Anyway, you’re on the shortlist, but the rest of the list is basically a formality. The job is yours.”

“Well, I’m honored,” Garland answered. “I won’t let you down!”

“Hey, all our hopes are in you,” Trump said, keeping his voice steady with great effort. “You’re the pick to unite the country. Because that’s all I care about: uniting everyone.”

“That’s great to hear,” Garland said. “You’re a better president than many give you credit for.”

“Yeah, I’m the best!” Trump said. “The best! Don’t you forget it! Now pack your bags for a confirmation hearing.” Trump then hung up and fell onto the ground to convulse with laughter.

The full prank call will air on Trump’s Wacky Morning Show on the local FM station that he does in the mornings in lieu of cabinet meetings.

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