TALLAHASSEE, FL - Looking more presidential every day, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis recently signed into law a brilliant piece of legislation called the "Don't Say 'My Momma So Fat'" Bill, forcing the nation's democrats to go around all day yelling that their mommas are so fat.
"My momma so fat!" said prominent Florida democrat, Nikki Fried, in response to journalist questions about how her campaign for Florida governor was coming along. "DeSantis is bigoted and my momma so fat. We will not be silenced!"
In a moving display of courageous equity, politicians and celebrities flocked to Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok to loudly proclaim the morbid obesity of their mothers. This grassroots effort to push back against the evil Florida governor has received constant media coverage by news anchors and analysts who also openly agreed that their mommas were so fat.
Feeling internal pressure from progressive employees, Disney Studios protested the Florida law by editing the upcoming Lightyear movie so Buzz Lightyear says, "My momma so fat!" over 150 times.
At publishing time, a giggling Ron DeSantis was sitting down at his desk to sign the "Don't Say 'I Eat My Boogers'" Bill.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
