TikTok has been officially banned over concerns of improper data collection and the spread of propaganda from the Chinese-owned app. Now Gen Z is in a bit of a pickle. What else are they supposed to do with their time?
The Babylon Bee had come up with 15 things Gen Z-ers can do with their time in a world without TikTok:
Use your phone to actually call people: Little do you know, but phones can also function as phones.
When wanting to watch TV, turn on the TV: The larger screen will shock and amaze you.
Now spend all your spare time watching useless videos on YouTube or Instagram instead: There are probably some pretty sweet reaction videos to the TikTok ban.
Watch a feature-length movie: It's like a thousand TikTok's mashed together.
Catch up on all 35 seasons of America's Funniest Home Videos: It's the TikTok of your parents' generation.
Instead of staring at your phone, stare directly at the sun: If you do it long enough, you won't be able to see your phone ever again. Just think of how much more fulfilling your life will be.
Touch grass: It feels weird, but you'll eventually get used to it.
Talk to another human being in person: You can bond over how much you both miss TikTok.
Instead of catfishing people, try catfishing catfish: It's a simpler life.
Learn a fictional fantasy language: Like Klingon, Elvish, or Latin.
Study Pythagoras, then develop your own theorem about triangles: It's everyone's dream to have a mathematical theorem named after them.
Try to beat a level 9 CPU in Super Smash Bros. while hanging off your couch upside down: Fox only, no items, Final Destination.
Watch the entire series of Disney's Bonkers: The main character, Bonkers D. Bobcat, had a catchphrase that was just him saying his name. "B-B-B-Bonkers!" What's better than that?
Just email your data directly to the CCP: Cut out the middleman.
Move to China where it's not banned, and you'll have so much more freedom: You may even be celebrated as a giant there.
There you have it — the list above should at least get you started on a fresh, new life away from TikTok. Have any more suggestions? Add them in the comments below.
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