U.S. — After the U.S. Supreme Court upheld a ban on the Chinese social media platform TikTok, Gen Z managed to stay upset about the ban for a full 4.3 seconds, which is the maximum amount of time they can focus on anything thanks to TikTok.
The nation braced for a groundswell of outrage from millions of TikTok users, but the outrage died out almost as soon as it began.
"I'm furious. I'm outraged about this. I'm — hey look! Nintendo Switch 2 is coming out!" said Mavryyck Dixon, a former Gen Z TikTok user. "I can't believe they would — yoooooooooo look at this Instagram baddie! This violates my freedom of — BRO these cargo jeans are bussin, no cap. What were we talking about again? Oh well."
Dixon then released some nervous energy by making weird noises and doing a dance he made up for the hot new Chinese app Red Book.
"Yeah, it seems like Gen Z has already moved on to the next thing," said millennial social media expert Ryan Tharknerb. "I asked 10 kids about it this morning, and they couldn't even remember what TikTok was. Frankly, I'm starting to forget myself. Ohhhh CRAP! Elon just caught another rocket booster out of the air! Sweeeet!"
At publishing time, Gen Z had found themselves outraged by something else, but no one can remember what it was.
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