Gaza Votes For Ceasefire In Chicago
Politics · Feb 1, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

GAZA — Amidst an ongoing conflict between Hamas and Israel, residents of Gaza banded together Thursday to vote for a ceasefire in Chicago, a city they say is an absolute war zone.

"We are appalled by the endless violence in Chicago. How can anyone live there?" declared Gaza resident Ahmed Al-Astal Abu Al-Najjar. "We must add our voice to the growing number of people demanding peace in this war-torn American city."

According to reports, there were 2,450 shootings in The Windy City in 2023 alone. "You'd be crazy to live in Chicago," Al-Najjar reiterated, shaking his head. "I don't care how good they say their pizza is."

"All of these deaths could have been prevented if only the Chicago government would get their act together," Gaza resident Muhammad Mahmoud Muhammad Musa said as he voted in support of the resolution calling for a Chicago ceasefire.

The text of the resolution calls for a permanent ceasefire in Chicago, humanitarian assistance, and for its citizens to immediately convert to Islam or die.

At publishing time, the Chicago city council had attempted to sign a resolution calling for ceasefire in Gaza, but the vote was interrupted by a drive-by shooting.

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