SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom's presidential prospects tanked sharply this week after the nation finally realized he was the guy running California.
Though long considered one of the leading candidates to win the Democratic nomination in 2028, Newsom's chances took a devastating hit once everyone discovered he was the one who had been ruining California for the last several years.
"Oh, that was him?" voter Randal Caspian said. "I didn't realize he was the governor of that state. California isn't really the state I want to model the entire country on. That place is the worst."
Many other Americans expressed similar feelings of surprise after learning Newsom is the one running the Golden State. New data showed that once people learned Newsom runs California, his prospects of winning the election evaporated.
"Yikes, that's awful." American Rachel Robinson said. "He looks qualified, he's got hair and a nice smile, I guess. He can talk. But I didn't realize he was the Governor of California. Didn't part of their state just sort of, like, burn to the ground last year?"
Other voters admitted they thought Newsom was in charge of something entirely different this whole time.
"I thought that guy was the CEO of Wendy's or something." Clark Gardner admitted. "He's the one behind the wheel in California? Oh, nope. Can't let him be in charge of the entire country."
At publishing time, Gavin Newsom asked his advisors if he could get in touch with someone about becoming the CEO of Wendy's.
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