WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following a ruling stripping him of his ability to impose emergency tariffs, a visibly furious President Donald Trump imposed a 1,000% tariff on the United States Supreme Court.
In a 6-3 decision, SCOTUS ruled Trump overstepped his authority with sweeping tariffs under the International Emergency Economic Powers Act (IEEPA), relegating the power back to Congress. But not so fast, said Trump, authorizing a 1,000% tariff on the court.
"If you want your tariff rate to be zero, you have to let me use tariffs," Trump reportedly told Chief Justice John Roberts in a heated exchange. "Tariffs are saving this country, a lot of people are saying that, and you're taking the power away because you are fake law."
Fortunately for SCOTUS, they do not export any goods to the United States, so it is a mostly symbolic gesture.
"I think we're just going to leave the ruling as is," Chief Justice John Roberts said. "It's not like he can fire me."
"Oh, those tariffs just got twice as big," Trump later told reporters after learning of the Chief Justice's remarks. "I'm going to tariff him until he retires. I'm going to tariff his breakfast cereal. His water. All of it."
At publishing time, President Trump had imposed a 80% tariff on the White House staffer who told him he didn't have the authority to impose tariffs on the Supreme Court.
Protect yourself from the modern day gestapo!
