Gavin Newsom Thankful As Fleeing Californians Can No Longer Afford To Fill Up Their U-Hauls
U.S. ยท Mar 10, 2022

SACRAMENTO, CA - With Californians desperately fleeing the state in search of the American dream, Governor Gavin Newsom is grateful that record-high gas prices have made it nearly impossible to put enough gas in a U-Haul to get out of California.

"Whew! For a minute there, I thought we'd lose everyone!" said Newsom to reporters. "Good luck escaping California now with these gas prices! HAHAHA!"

According to sources, it currently costs $7,827.00 to fill the gas tank of a U-Haul in California. With residents already struggling to survive, many are being forced to put their escape plans on hold. Still, others are undeterred, electing instead to form a migrant caravan to leave the oppressive state on foot.

"We will keep walking until we find freedom in another state," said Juan Vasquez as he and his family trudged down a desert road carrying possessions on their backs. "Gas prices won't stop us! FREEEDDOOOMM!"

As California continues to lose residents, Newsom has called for an additional tax on trudging down desert roads while carrying possessions on your back to prevent further escapes.

A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!

Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He's doing his best to keep his chin up.

Subscribe to The Babylon Bee on YouTube

Comments

There are 85 comments on this article.

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.