LOS ANGELES, CA—While researching possible cheap food and lodging for an upcoming weekend getaway for Memorial Day, local frugal dad Daniel Bernard reportedly suggested to his family that they simply sleep at Starbucks, to avoid paying anything for a hotel room.
Bernard scouted out several Starbucks locations near the family’s chosen vacation spot and narrowed their options down to a nice mall Starbucks downtown, a strip mall location in the suburbs, and a smaller urban location close to several local attractions.
“Plenty of free space to hang out, air conditioning, clean restrooms—and we don’t even have to buy anything!” the father exclaimed excitedly upon reading a news story indicating that Starbucks would no longer require purchases for loitering in its stores or using its restrooms. “We can bring our own food, drinks, and coffee and pack them in a cooler to save even more cash. And just think of all the scam resort fees we’ll avoid!”
Bernard called ahead to ensure the company’s new policy allowed the family to bunk indefinitely, and was pleased to report that the Starbucks was unable to turn them away. “With this great new company policy, only suckers would pay for a hotel room!” he declared to his family, none of whom were listening to him, according to sources.
At publishing time, the father had suggested the family leap onto a passing Starbucks company delivery truck in order to save money on transportation.