SAN DIEGO, CA—According to sources close to local man Henry Cooper, the Trinity Baptist Church small group host was seen hurriedly tucking a 12-pack of craft beer behind some odds and ends on a shelf in his garage just moments before the first attendees of the home fellowship meeting pulled into his family’s driveway Sunday evening.
Cooper happened to open the fridge in hopes of grabbing a snack with mere seconds left to spare before the meeting was set to start, and realized with horror that his recently purchased case of Stone IPA was sitting square on the middle shelf, where anyone could happen upon the beverage and discover that he drinks beer from time to time.
As panic set in, a trembling Cooper dove for the pack of beers and sprinted toward the garage as though his life depended on it, shoving aside several boxes and other sundries to fit the beer on the cluttered storage shelf, where it was unlikely to be discovered by his fellow church members.
“That was close. Too close,” he muttered to his wife as the two opened the door and cheerily greeted the Larson family, who were reportedly carrying a 2-liter bottle of store-brand soda to contribute for refreshments. “The fridge is the first place they look.”
A petrified Mrs. Cooper realized halfway through the study she had left her margarita mix in the door of the refrigerator, sources confirmed.
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.