DALLAS, TX—Pastor Robert Jeffress of First Baptist Dallas announced on Sunday that their visitor gift bags have undergone a massive overhaul. Before dismissing the congregation he asked all guests to reach under their seats to receive their very own Bible and AR-15 free of charge.
“We wanted our congregation to be armed not just with scripture, but with pure, awesome firepower,” Pastor Jeffress explained. “Now our parishioners will fear no evil as their God is with them and they are fully loaded.”
The visitors joyfully pulled out the inerrant word of God and marveled at their new AR-15’s, already fully loaded with the finest 5.56 ammunition.
“Now you’re probably wondering why all of the AR-15’s came with the magazine already loaded with live rounds,” Jeffress said. “Well, we figured that if you are visiting us here then you should already know how to properly handle such a weapon.”
The congregation then proceeded to wildly fire their weapons into the air while shouting ‘Hallelujah’ and ‘Amen'!