Feeling During Modern Worship Set Suspiciously Similar To Feeling During Rock Concert
Church

CHARLOTTE, NC—According to sources, local worship music festival attendee Braden Machen just realized that the feeling he gets at a modern worship concert is eerily similar to the feeling he gets at a rock concert.

"I first noticed it when NEEDTOBREATHE started to get to my favorite part of their song, and I was feeling very worshipful, I accidentally started singing Kings of Leon lyrics instead, and it didn't really change the feeling I was feeling at all," said Machen. "The feeling I was feeling about the feeling I was feeling was further cemented when Toby Mac came on stage and I accidentally started singing Katy Perry lyrics."

According to experts, the feeling of spiritual closeness to God that most people associate with worship music is pretty much the result of a really awesome bridge-to-chorus transition, or flawless dynamics, or a musical hook being repeated for the hundredth time before instruments drop off leaving only the drums. 

"Oh yeah, I love it so much when that happens," said Machen. 

Rumor has it that Presbyterians are able to worship God without any instrumental accompaniment at all, but they could not be reached for comment. 

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