Father Who Knows 40-Year-Old Baseball Stats Only Vaguely Aware Of Kids' Ages
Family · Aug 10, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

ROYAL OAK, MI — Local Dad Jeff Francis is widely known as a loving and devoted father, but some sources indicate he struggles with the details when it comes to his four sons. Jeff's wife Rebecca provides helpful reminders about their children's birthdays, hair color, and names, but Rebecca still reports that Jeff only loosely knows how old the kids are even though he can recite baseball statistics from 40 years ago.

"Jeff certainly has a mind for numbers – just yesterday, he told our neighbor about Lou Whitaker's .361 on-base percentage in 1978, when Whitaker also won ‘Rookie Of The Year.' Jeff sure loves his Detroit Tigers!" Rebecca reported to family friends that while she was proud of his ability to retain data, she wishes he could recall even basic data about the kids. "When we were at dinner with the Andersons, Jeff estimated that our son Jeremy was ‘3rd or maybe 7th grade' – I reminded him that it's actually Lucas who's in 7th grade, and Jeremy's the one who's in college."

Rebecca has also confirmed that despite having a sharp memory, her husband Jeff still has an emotional side. "He gets misty-eyed when talking about Alan Trammel's 1,918 games he played with Lou Whitaker, and has to wipe away tears when recounting Trammel's .258 batting average in 1981-82." Rebecca was quick to reaffirm her pride in Jeff's strong retention, though she went on to share that at their other son Ryan's birthday party, Jeff started sharing wisdom about Senior Prom even though Ryan was still 12."

At publishing time, Jeff was reciting the strikeouts, on-base percentage, steals, batting-average-on-balls-in-play, and shut-outs for the 1983 season to his other son Troy, who reports confirm was not able to follow the details due to being a baby.


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