SCRANTON, PA — The upcoming weekend promised to be a fun one for one local family, as they were excited to get a new inkjet printer that would work flawlessly for the first six hours and then never again.
The Stevens family canceled other plans and gathered around the new inkjet printer, knowing that it would provide them with several hours of efficient document printing at home before something would go wrong, causing the machine to never function properly as long as they have it.
"It's going to be amazing to see those first few pages before everything goes wrong," family patriarch Kevin Stevens said. "The last time we bought a printer, it gave us several good moments that first afternoon before it stopped working and never printed anything ever again. Now, we've got a newer model, and we expect to get just as much use out of this baby. We can't wait."
Kevin's wife, Beth, knew exactly what the whole family would be doing for the next few hours. "It's going to be a fun evening," she said. "I'm just glad the kids are here to see it, because after we print out a few things, they'll spend the rest of their lives watching their parents angrily bang on the printer and shout at it for never working. These memories will last forever."
At publishing time, the Stevens family's new inkjet printer had already given an error message and stopped working, leading Kevin to take it out into the back yard and smash it with a baseball bat.
Liberal Brynnleigh witnesses a communist utopia in action!
