U.S.—In a statement released Friday, famed environmental hero Captain Planet and his Planeteers attempted to distance themselves from the radical, far-left Green New Deal proposal, criticizing the sweeping legislative mandate as "unrealistic" and "implausible."
Five cartoon teenagers gathered in front of the Capitol Building, pulled out their rings, and shouted, "Earth! Fire! Wind! Water!" and the best power of all, "Heart!" in order to summon the captain to make his official statement on the Green New Deal.
"Frankly, this proposal just isn't realistic at all," said the imaginary cartoon hero. "It would probably be a lot more plausible if the Dems would just try to summon me using the magic rings of five diverse teenagers. That would definitely be a lot more achievable than eliminating cows, cars, and airplanes by next week."
"We believe the Democrats need to go back to the drawing board and come up with something more realistic," said the animated environmentalist superhero before flying off to battle the notorious Doctor Blight.