MENLO PARK, CA - Genius billionaire and totally human Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has announced he is building a brand new virtual reality world for everyone to live in, which he calls the "Metaverse." To help everyone plug in and get completely immersed in the virtual world, Facebook Meta has introduced high-tech virtual reality pods.
"Our Meta-Pods are state of the art," said Zuckerberg in his classic warm and fully-human way. "You will submerge yourself in this gooey clear jelly for maximum comfort, and simply plug this giant cable into your head! And the pods are very energy efficient since they use a form of fusion to convert your body's energy into electricity! Cool!"
Meta has partnered with the U.S. Government to provide pods for every person in America, which will be delivered to everyone's homes next week. To incentivize people to jump into the exciting new virtual universe, the Biden Administration will implement a 300% tax increase for anyone who doesn't use the pod for at least 6 hours per day.
"We know how much you all love Facebook and how Facebook has made the world a better place," said Zuckerberg. "We're excited to give you more Facebook by immersing you in it 24/7! You're welcome!"
Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!