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Exposed: CNN Is Run By Russian Bots

U.S.—Sensitive Kremlin documents leaked early Thursday exposed popular American news channel CNN as a nefarious front operation run top-to-bottom by Russian bots for the purpose of sowing discord among the government and populace of the United States.

U.S. Federal agents raided the organization’s properties around the world in a series of coordinated operations shortly after the leak.

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is CNN,” an FBI special agent said as he interrupted Chris Cuomo delivering a live special report and poked a hole through the faux skin on his face, revealing a glowing blue robot eye and complex machinery beneath.

“CNN is made up of Russian bots,” the agent announced to the nation on live television. “And we’re not just talking computer programs here. They’re, like, actual robots. Chris Cuomo, Don Lemon, Wolf Blitzer—all of them. They’re advanced robots being remotely controlled by the Kremlin.”

At publishing time, despite the shocking information, CNN continued to be a trusted news source for a large cross-section of the American population.