WASHINGTON, D.C. — At a Trump campaign fundraising supper over the weekend, the mood was somber. Trump had just informed everybody that he would soon be in court but would be vindicated three days later.

He also dropped a bombshell on the evangelical leaders gathered to raise money for his campaign: that one of them would soon betray him.

"I know most of you are loyal," Trump said as the guests reclined after their meal. "Very loyal. You guys are the best. But one of you is going to betray me---believe me. Not good!"

His disciples stared at each other, not sure what Trump meant and wondering if maybe he had one too many Diet Cokes with his ice cream. But Pat Robertson whispered to Jerry Falwell, Jr, "Ask him who the snitch is. We can take care of snitches." So Jerry Falwell, Jr. leaned against Trump's chest and asked, "Mr. President, who is it?"

"Surely not I, Lord?" said a sobbing Falwell, Jr. The others all asked him one by one: "Surely not I?"

Tears forming in his eyes, Trump answered, "It is the one to whom I give this cup of covfefe." He then passed a cup of coffee over to Robert Jeffress. "What you are going to do, do quickly," Trump said, clearly in anguish in his body and soul, though again, it might have been the Diet Coke. "Just remember what we used to do to spies and snitches!"

Jeffress went out into the night to make a plea bargain in exchange for immunity.