Enraged J.D. Greear Crashes Altar Call, Drives Congregants Out With Whip
Celebs · Jan 19, 2017 · BabylonBee.com

NORTH RALEIGH, NC - According to witnesses at Grace Wesleyan Church, enraged pastor and author of Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart J.D. Greear kicked down the doors of the church during its weekly altar call Sunday morning and began driving congregants out with a makeshift whip.

The incident reportedly occurred as Greear drove by the church after his own service Sunday and spotted the ongoing altar call through the window, driving the pastor into an uncontrollable rage as he slammed on the brakes and told his family to "hold on for a sec" as he dashed toward the church's front doors.

Greear was then seen hastily fashioning a whip out of WWJD bracelets he found in the church's lobby before crashing the service and driving frightened congregants from their seats. His first stop was the front of the sanctuary, where he confronted the wide-eyed pastor giving the altar call, and knocked him out cold where he stood.

"Stop asking Jesus into your heart right now!" he screamed to church attendees as he flipped the altar at the front of the church building, according to witnesses. "You over there with your hand raised to 'accept Christ' - drop it, you little punk!"

As terrified churchgoers escaped out open windows and emergency exits, the pastor and author reportedly stationed himself at the doors of the church, driving off anyone who tried to come forward to receive Christ into his or her heart.

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