MT. CARMEL - Israel is repenting today after the prophet Elijah showed them the power of Yahweh and exposed the 450 prophets of Baal as frauds who believe in a false god. Still, several leaders throughout Israel have criticized the prophet for his "harsh tone and unloving satire."
"Yeah, I know our entire nation has forsaken the true God of Heaven to follow idols, but did he really have to use verbal attacks like that?" said one local magistrate. "He told the prophets of Baal 'maybe your god is taking a dump on the toilet and can't hear you.' That's just crude and uncalled for."
Sources confirmed that while the prophets of Baal danced around their altar begging Baal to send down fire and consume the sacrifice, Elijah made several abrasive comments, suggesting maybe Baal was too busy thinking, sleeping, or pooping.
"I just don't see how satire like that reflects the love of God," said another concerned citizen. "Does Elijah really think people will accept the true God when he's speaking so harshly all the time?"
Critics were further incensed when after Elijah called down fire from heaven to consume his offering and show the power of the true God, he then proceeded to kill all the prophets of Baal. Totally uncalled for!
Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He's doing his best to keep his chin up.