TONTITOWN, AR—The Duggar family has announced their chosen presidential candidate for 2020: Kanye West. Their support for West was revealed after he suggested giving everybody who has a baby $1 million.
"Hoo boy... a million per kid," said Jim Bob Duggar, pulling out a napkin and pencil and doing some quick math. "I think we could pull in a cool $10 million a year. Hey, Michelle! Is it cool if we support Kanye?"
He looked to Michelle for support. She ignored him.
"Ah well. She'll come around on the Kanye thing."
The Duggars were concerned about some of Kanye's wackier statements and antics, but at the end of the day, they decided that the ability to make millions of dollars just by doing what they do best -- making babies -- was worth it. "We already got the TV show, and that's pretty swell," said Jim Bob Duggar. "But man -- maybe we could finally build that giant Jello pool I've always wanted."
He looked to Michelle for support. She shook her head.
"Ah well. She'll come around on the Jello pool."
Homeschooling families, Latter-day Saints, and Catholics also rallied behind Kanye West thanks to the $1 million per baby proposal.