ALBUQUERQUE, NM—Local woman Yolanda Martinez, 27, confirmed Wednesday that drama is still tragically following her around, despite her constant declarations that she just totally hates drama.
“I just don’t get why I’m always in the middle of things,” Martinez lamented to two of her friends from church over a three-way Skype call, in which the trio was reportedly discussing a suspected extramarital affair of a woman who wasn’t present for the conversation. “By the way, do you think I should tell her husband about our suspicions? It’s only fair to him after all.”
Her home church, Blue Sky Bible Fellowship, corroborated her story, claiming that drama just won’t leave her alone, even though she clearly tells everyone how much she detests drama while she stirs it up.
“It’s really strange,” elder Bryan White told reporters. “I mean, she says she doesn’t like being in the middle of things, and yet there she is tragically caught right in the middle of things. Please keep her in your prayers.”
At publishing time, Martinez had posted a vague Facebook status indicating how much she hates fake people.