WASHINGTON, D.C.—America's Hispanic population was treated to a very special speech today, in which First Lady Dr. Jill Biden wished all the Latinx people a happy "Cincway du Marco."
"Hola fellow Latinx!" said Dr. Jill Biden as she donned an authentic Mexican sombrero and shook a maraca. "We honor your intersectional brown bodies today! Si se puahdwe! Have a muy bueno Cincway du Marco! Yay!"
The socially distanced crowd of color then stood to their feet in rapturous applause, proud to be honored by a real live doctor.
After the speech, Dr. Jill Biden will treat detained migrants to a very special Zoom call in which she will wish them a happy holiday. She will then authorize one extra bowl of gruel for each detainee in honor of the very special day. She has also directed ICE agents to dress as Mexican vaqueros so everyone feels more at home.
Kamala Harris also announced she will finally be visiting the border as well, but sources reported she'll only be there to pick out a new cleaning lady.