Democrats, Republicans Stop Fighting Just Long Enough To Approve Even More Crushing Debt
Politics · Jul 23, 2019 ·

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a rare moment of bipartisan unity, Democrats and Republicans came together just long enough to approve spending even more money we don't have, plunging the nation into even more crushing debt.

"There are things we disagree on," House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said in an address, flanked by Senator Mitch McConnell and President Donald Trump. "We don't agree on exactly how much money to take away from you, for instance. We don't agree on exactly how many foreign countries to bomb at a given time. We don't even agree on exactly how much the government should interfere in your personal decisions."

"But it's really important," she continued, "for us to come together to approve the borrowing of trillions of dollars your grandkids will have to pay back."

Trump nodded thoughtfully throughout Pelosi's speech and was asked if he wanted to say anything. "Huh? Oh, I wasn't listening. I was thinking of something else."

Senator McConnell jumped in to say a few words. "Nancy Pelosi and I might not see eye to eye, but we'll always set aside our differences to spend future generations' money. Also war, we'll come together for war. We could use a good war right now." He then looked off into the distance dreamily.

With the debt ceiling out of the way, the politicians in Washington say "the sky's the limit" for how much of our future the government can spend away.

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