Politics
Democrats Propose Voting By TikTok

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrats proposed new legislation today that would allow people living in all 50 states to vote by TikTok.

The new proposal introduced by House Democrats would let everyone cast their vote while watching a fun dance video on TikTok.

"We cannot risk our elections being compromised by people going outside to vote," said Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. "We need a safer, more secure option, and this 'Tikkity Tok' thing the kids are using seems to be just the ticket."

"It would be totally lit," said Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. "You can see people like, dancing, and then, like, you can click that you want to vote for Joe Biden or whatever and, like, your vote will definitely be counted. It's foolproof."

"We didn't have TikTok in my day," said Joe Biden. "When we wanted to get ahold of somebody, we'd throw a rock at them or smack two sticks together. You know, we also used to ride in the back of the station wagon, no seat belts. It was the style at the time."

The Chinese government quickly came out in favor of the Democrats' proposal.


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