WASHINGTON, D.C. — Embattled after a difficult first several months of 2025, Democrats were reported to be considering a brilliant new strategy of complaining loudly every day about President Donald Trump.
According to sources within the Democratic National Committee, the failure of years of lawfare, slander in the press, and electoral cheating had led the party to develop a radical plan to complain about Trump loud and long every single day.
"With this new plan, we can finally get Trump," explained Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. "We know we haven't had a ton of success against Trump in the past, but this could actually be the best idea we've had. As long as we keep sticking to our guns of complaining loudly and consistently, we'll eventually get our message across."
Other top Democrats concurred. "We are making our voices heard," shouted Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib. "Trump is the absolute worst, and we are going to take him down, one loud complaint at a time. I HATE TRUMP!"
Members of the general public seemed unfazed by the new strategy. "Oh, are they complaining about Trump again?" asked Vermont native Matthew Stifles. "Is that new? I could've sworn they've been doing that for like a decade now. Weird. I kinda just tune it all out."
At publishing time, Republican strategists had responded to the Democrats' new tactic by panicking and reversing all of President Trump's most popular policies in favor of increasing taxes, keeping the border unsecured, and outsourcing jobs overseas.
Brynnleigh is on a mission to stop America from becoming… well, America.
