WASHINGTON, D.C. - As ratings continue to fizzle for the January 6th hearings, Democrats are trying a new format to bring the committee's scandalous findings to a wider audience.
"We are proud, so proud, to announce January 6th Hearings On Ice," said Pelosi while attempting to squeeze into a silver leotard. "We invite parents and children of all ages to come witness this delightful spectacle as my colleagues and I dance to delightful musical numbers and spin our narrative as we spin on the ice!"
The show will take place on a rink of frozen tears supplied by AOC herself, and will feature the talents of Liz Cheney, Adam Kinzinger, and Adam Schiff, as he comically attempts to stay upright under the weight of his large watermelon-shaped head.
Democrats hope the new show will give more Americans a chilling picture of just how evil Trump and his supporters are.
At publishing time, the show had to be put on hold after every member of the committee slipped and broke their hips within the first 5 minutes of the first performance.
Michael Simmons' doctor tells him he's obese and needs to lose some weight - but the patient has the perfect comeback: he's pregnant!