U.S.—In a move to make Wonder Woman more inclusive, DC has rebranded the superhero as "Wonder Person Who Menstruates."
All films, shows, comics, and other media going forward will refer to Princess Diana of Themyscira using the new title.
"It's past time we make the superhero genre more inclusive," said a spokesperson. "Wonder Woman is an archaic term that comes from the patriarchy."
Other rebrandings announced by DC include the following:
- Superman will now be known as Superpersonwithaprostate
- The Green Lantern will be known as The Green New Deal
- The Black Canary will be known as Canary of Color
- The White Canary is canceled
- The Green Arrow will be known as The Green Ammunition Used To Fight Off Evil Colonizers
- Batman will be known as Individual Who Prefers Bats And There's Nothing Wrong With That
- Constantine will be renamed Istanbul
Critics praised DC's brave stand for inclusivity, a real rarity in the comics industry.
"Finally -- people of marginalized identities don't have to feel a literal stab wound in their heart every time they see a Wonder Woman comic at their local comic shop," said one blogger. "They are too sensitive and fragile to treat like real people, so we have to coddle them instead."
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.