ANAHEIM, CA — Financial guru Dave Ramsey sprang out of a shopping mall fountain today to scold a woman who had frivolously wasted an entire quarter on a wish.
"Young people these days have no idea how important it is to save every cent," a drenched Ramsey told the embarrassed quarter-thrower. "You carelessly threw an entire 25 cents into water, for a so-called wish? What kind of investment is a wish? You should wish for your quarter back, sweetheart! This is pure financial carelessness. I do applaud you for using cash, though."
According to sources, Ramsey had used a snorkel to stay underwater for hours until the unsuspecting woman rashly tossed her coin in. "I have no idea how long he was actually down there," Susan Hunt told reporters. "I'm just impressed with his dedication. He's still in his suit and ready to talk financial peace the moment he comes out of the water."
Ramsey reportedly performed an extended counseling session with the young woman at the fountain. "Why, do you know fewer than one percent of U.S. residents have the recommended fifty-thousand in their incidental savings accounts?" asked Ramsey. "And here we are, carelessly tossing an entire quarter into the fountain for a wish when she could have added it to her stock portfolio!"
As of publishing time, Ramsey was seen chasing down a toddler who dropped a handful of french fries on the ground to lecture her on how wasting food is akin to burning money and instructed her to either eat the fries or put them in her pocket for later.
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