MIDDLEBURY, VT — A local father was seen holding his head in disgrace Thursday evening after his dad joke was mercilessly panned by critics.
The joke in question, a commentary on how putting on his glasses would help him make things clear — a clever double meaning — was somehow lost on the critics.
"Just so everyone is clear, I'm going to put on my glasses," Phil Matthews said, hamming it up for the crowd.
Matthews had reportedly worked hard on the joke for approximately one second before its delivery and was stunned by the dead silence that followed.
Witnesses said he attempted to roll with the punches, making light of how the joke had bombed, but his subsequent jokes also suffered.
"What is this, amateur hour?" wrote dad joke critic Stephen Matthews, 13. "Anyone can make a pun."
In a scathing 750-word review, fellow dad joke critic Erica Matthews, 10, pointed out that while the joke was "technically funny," it was just a repackaged version of a joke told previously. "This is the same old, tired material. He keeps bringing it back to life like a demented Frankenstein, but these jokes will not bring his dad joke career back from the dead."
Asked how he was taking the negative reviews, Phil appeared to shrug it off. "Hey, that's just showbiz," he said.
At publishing time, the critics had retracted their statements after being offered ice cream for dessert.
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