NEW MARKET, MN — Sources close to Cliff Johnson say that the father of seven was in for a horrid surprise last weekend when a tiny, pipsqueaked little punk in the backseat asked him, "Dad, isn't speeding a sin?"
According to reports, Johnson was cruising along comfortably at 72 in a 55-mph zone when a maliciously cute little lisp from just over his shoulder piped in with an unwelcome question, causing him to immediately slow down to a snail-paced 64 miles an hour.
"What? Uh…say that again, sweetheart?" Johnson asked. "Speeding? Well, it's kind of a gray area, you know? Like…um, well….you see, that's a great question! Good job! Why don't we ask Mom when we get home?"
"But Daddy, isn't that the law? And isn't breaking the law a sin? I thought we weren't supposed to sin," persisted the little brat.
At publishing time, the snot-nosed little jerk had asked him if God thinks it's OK for us to blow through a stoplight a full three seconds after it turned red.
Rumors swirl about the current condition of Senator Mitch McConnell, but his staff have come out to say that even if he were dead he will still be able to finish his term.
