POPLAR BLUFF, MO — After reaching the end of another taxing Sunday pouring himself out to minister to his parishioners, a local pastor who gets paid $17,000 a year was shocked to hear from a disgruntled congregant that he's just in it for the money.
Reverend Mark Lambert, in his fifth year of serving as pastor of Grace Church, was surprised to find out he's in the ministry as a money-making enterprise despite the fact that he and his family live well below what is considered to be the poverty line.
"Wow, I'm only in this for the money? I never would've guessed that," Lambert said. "Keeping our electricity on at the house was a little touch-and-go there for a day or two, but we managed to make it work. None of that ever matters to us, honestly. We really just want the people of our church to feel loved and cared for as much as we can while we preach and show them the Gospel. When I found out I was only doing this to get rich, I was floored!"
When asked for comment, the unhappy churchgoer confirmed the report. "Yeah, he's just doing this for the money," said Debra Bartle, who has attended Grace Church faithfully for over 30 years despite complaining regularly about church leadership. "He stands up there with his Bible and preaches his sermons and hugs everyone and always shows up to support people when they need him and whatnot… but I know he just wants a paycheck. We all know preachers rake in money hand over fist."
At publishing time, Pastor Lambert had reportedly visited four different congregants to pray for them in person while driving his luxurious 1997 Toyota Corolla.
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