Dad Dead At 9 A.M. From Questions
Family · Nov 4, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

SPRINGFIELD, MO — Local dad Marcus Dunn passed away this morning after being asked one too many questions before nine o'clock in the morning.

According to sources, the questions began rolling in from the exact moment that Mr. Dunn opened his eyes that fateful morning. "Our three-year-old woke Marcus up by repeatedly asking if it was bad to pour sand into the kitchen sink," said Mrs. Dunn. "Then while Marcus fixed the sink, the kids systematically asked him about the name and function of every single tool in his toolbox, as well as asking several times why he looked so grumpy. The situation became grim."

After it became apparent a Home Depot trip would be required to fix the sink, the children asked to come along. They then reportedly asked Marcus 172 questions during the fifteen-minute trip, requiring updates every thirty seconds as to how many gallons of gas remained in the truck and how many miles they could travel with that much gas. Mr. Dunn further weakened as the two kids peppered him with dozens more questions about how come they were at Home Depot, where mom was, and why deer always look so nervous.

At publishing time, the medical examiner had reported that the final question that did Marcus in was why a good, loving God would allow whole-wheat pancakes to exist.


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