CAPE GIRARDEAU, MO - A local churchgoer has filed a formal complaint with Trinity Baptist Church, as the cup holders conveniently located on the back of each pew were woefully inadequate to hold the woman's coffee.
"They weren't even close to the right size," the woman's complaint scribbled on a comment card reportedly read. "At best you could maybe squeeze a shot glass in there, but I thought this was a Baptist church. What gives?"
"This place was supposed to be relevant," she added before angrily signing her name, witnesses confirmed.
After the woman tried to force the cup into the holder "every which way," she finally resigned herself to simply balancing the cup precariously on the tiny wooden armrest next to her, according to witnesses.
Her worship time ruined, the woman reportedly folded her arms and begrudgingly sang along with her fellow church members, but made sure she didn't look happy about it.