Country Music Somehow Gets Worse
Entertainment · Apr 3, 2023 ·

NASHVILLE, TN — Early reports from Nashville's CMT awards are confirming that against all odds, country music has managed to somehow get even worse.

"We're as shocked as you are," said local music critic Bubba Bordeaux. "We really didn't think it could get any more awful than this, but once again, Nashville managed to shatter our expectations with how audaciously bad their music can be! How do they do it year after year? Amazing!"

Experts say that after over a decade of looping snap tracks, breathy pop, and Taylor Swift, most believed that the genre had finally discovered its bottom, only to see the industry sink even lower with hip-hop trap beats set to banjo riffs, bro-country club songs, and drag queens.

"It's a true testament to American ingenuity, to keep finding new and innovative ways to suck," said Bordeaux. "What will they think of next year?"

At publishing time, The Daily Wire had responded with a new non-woke country album featuring Jeremy Boreing and Toby Keith.

Kyle Mann was just minding his own business, when- BOOP! A wild Gender Fairy appeared!

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