UIJEONGBU — Corporal Maxwell Klinger has finally been discharged from the Army after the U.S. Supreme Court upheld the Trump administration's ban on trans military members.
Klinger, stationed in Korea with the 4077th MASH unit, expressed relief that the day he had been looking forward to his whole life had finally arrived, and he could finally get out of the Army and get back home to Toledo, Ohio.
"Persistence really does pay off," Klinger said while wearing a frilly pink dress. "Everyone told me to give up years ago, but I knew if I stuck with it, I could get out of this place. On the bright side, I've managed to build up a really impressive wardrobe after all this time."
Other members of the 4077th said Klinger's consistency seemed to have an effect on the rest of the unit. "He's definitely not the only one here wearing dresses these days," said friend and colleague Corporal Walter "Radar" O'Reilly. "I don't know if it's other people being inspired or what, but there sure are a lot more fellahs dressing like ladies around here now. We all always thought he had a screw loose, but in hindsight, he turned out to be a real trendsetter. I'll be sad to see him go."
At publishing time, Klinger was reportedly hoping to follow in the footsteps of another prominent cross-dressing American serviceman and someday serve as the U.S. Assistant Secretary of Health.
The USA undeniably trumps our neighbors to the north.
