Worldviews
Confused At Sight Of People Eating Food, Communists Scream At Restaurants

U.S.—Communist marches around the country are peacefully intensifying. But the marchers have found a new target of their ire: restaurants. Never having seen people with plenty of food to eat, the commies are becoming agitated and confused and are calling for the closure of the evil capitalist eating establishments.

The communists were confused and frightened by the sight of people eating food aplenty. Concluding it was part of a sinister capitalist plot to take over the world and then raise the living standards for everyone, they demanded the restaurant be shut down.

"You guys are eating food? Smells like evil capitalism to me!" shouted one commie as he marched through a restaurant telling everyone to get up and leave. "All food bad! All food bad!"

"Eating food? Not on our watch!" shouted another commie. "Food! Is! Racist! Food! Is! Racist!" The commies then put all the food in a pile and burned it, not wanting people to get used to capitalist luxuries like eating and survival.

The commies were later caught saving most of the food and hoarding it for themselves, the future ruling class of our coming communist utopia. "No food good, food just for ruling class better!" they shouted.

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