Complementarian Church Now Allowing Women To Give Announcements In Non-Authoritative Manner Only
Church · Dec 6, 2016 · BabylonBee.com

MOBILE, AL - Talk about breaking the glass ceiling: leaders at Bethlehem Evangelical Free Church announced last week their new policy allowing women to give announcements in church, "so long as they don't do so in an authoritative fashion."

The first woman to take advantage of the new policy, Heather Donnelly, made history by giving her non-authoritative "announcement suggestions" Sunday morning: "I just want to share what's on my heart about next week's potluck, if that's okay," Donnelly reportedly began, as church elders sat behind her on the stage, nodding approvingly.

"The meal is next Sunday. Bring a salad or dessert to share. If you want. It's okay if you don't. That's just a suggestion," Donnelly continued.

Several other brief comments reportedly contained only quotes from men, so that her announcements could carry the weight of biblical authority, sources confirmed.

"I also have a few quick announcements in light of 1 Timothy 2:12. First, as Pastor Jason likes to say, 'The youth night will be at six pm sharp.' Second, as Pastor Bill puts it, 'Don't forget to drop off your canned food donations by Friday at 4.' Finally, as my own husband once said, 'We're now going to transition into a time of worship,'" Donnelly said before inviting one of the pastors to lead the church in authoritative prayer as the worship band quietly slipped back onstage.


Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now