EL PASO, TX — As part of a genius plot to avoid President Trump's deportation efforts, a local immigrant has avoided murdering, stealing, or entering the country illegally.
Sources reported Trump was outraged to learn about the immigrant successfully evading his grasp by completely following all applicable laws and regulations.
"Yeah, I just, you know, obey the law and stuff," said immigrant Julio Gonzaga, who has thus far managed to cleverly escape Trump's ruthless deportation squads. "And I came here legally and all that, so Trump can't touch me."
Legal experts in Trump's inner circle warned that this little-known loophole of following the laws of the nation could be exploited by thousands of immigrants who may successfully immigrate by following the laws of the nation. "These immigrants are smarter than we thought," said one anonymous source in the White House. "Truly diabolical."
Democrats also warned that this dangerous trend may encourage more wanton law-obeying by thousands more people looking to immigrate into the U.S. "Just imagine all the law and order," said one Democrat immigration lawyer. "It's too horrible to even think about it."
At publishing time, Democrats had found themselves even more horrified to learn Julio Gonzaga had registered to vote as a Republican.
Trump is cleaning house, and with Kash Patel as the presumptive head of the FBI, that department is no exception.
