SEATTLE, WA—Marine Community Life Church has become the first church in the nation to install a siren that goes off if you try to sneak out to refill your coffee in the middle of the sermon.
Caffeine-addicted churchgoers who start to get antsy and try to go get a fix in the foyer will be stopped in their tracks as the siren blares, alerting everyone in the church that you're not leaving for a legit reason but just need to top off that ol' coffee in the middle of the message.
The siren is hooked up to an advanced sensor that can detect elevated caffeine levels, common in coffee junkies, and scan to see if you're bringing your empty cup with you to get another hit during the sermon.
"We see a good 70-80 people slip out to the foyer during the best parts of my message," said Pastor Ronald Porter. "Hopefully, this will deter those hopeless junkies who can't last a solid 30 minutes without going out to the foyer for a top-off."
"OK, sometimes 45 minutes. Maybe an hour. Hour fifteen, tops," he admitted.
The church later discovered they could have just accomplished the same thing by serving terrible coffee that no one wants to drink in the first place.