HOLLYWOOD, CA—Days after President Trump’s star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame was defaced, representatives for the Hollywood Historic Trust confirmed that revolutionary and mass murderer Che Guevara would be honored with a star in its place.
The star monument was unveiled at a ceremony attended by hundreds of people, many of whom Guevara would have executed had they lived under his reign of terror. Attendees cried out “Viva la Revolucion!” and “Death to Trump!” as the mayor of Hollywood unveiled the posthumously awarded plaque to the South American radical.
“Trump is out, Che is in,” said the mayor. “Guevara is much more reflective than Fuhrer Trump of our great city’s values of identity politics, equality for all, and not tolerating anyone who disagrees. Kill Trump! Kill Trump! Kill Trump!”
At publishing time, sources close to the Historic Trust had been able to confirm that Guevara’s star would soon be joined by adjacent stars installed to honor Chairman Mao and Karl Marx.