Friends, I'm three days removed from proclaiming Elon Musk the second biggest MAGA threat in America and two days removed from declaring that the Supreme Court annihilated the Constitution by unanimously declaring that you can't kick a guy off the ballot when he hasn't been convicted of a crime.

It leaves me with an astounding question: can you believe people actually used to take me seriously??

It really boggles the mind. I'm out on a street corner right now dressed as the Statue of Liberty, screaming that Ketanji Brown Jackson has gone MAGA -- and there was a time when I was considered a legitimate intellectual voice in the conservative movement. Me!

I'm about a month away from moving into Keith Olbermann's basement, the only man in America who agrees with me about the Trump ruling. I am right on par with the guy who claims to be firing urine out his eyes while screaming that every Supreme Court justice is a "Trump whore." This is my level of political discourse, people, and yet -- some folks actually used to take my opinions seriously.

It's pure insanity. I'm out here writing articles in the New York Times, openly mocking the faith of Christians who believe in Biblical marriage. I'm questioning the faith of Christians who declined the COVID vaccine. I hate Trump so viciously that I'm even screaming at my fellow liberals who are unwilling to break the law to destroy Trump. Yet somehow, people used to think of me as a defender of religious freedom. I still get called a "conservative commentator" from time to time. It's absurd.

Some mysteries, I suppose, are best left unsolved. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go write another Op-Ed entitled, "The Conservative Case for Choking Donald Trump to Death with the Wigs of Child Drag Queens."