Californians Growing Concerned As Animals Seen Going Two By Two Toward Large Wooden Boat
Scripture · Mar 16, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

LOS ANGELES, CA — California residents reported growing concern over the fate of their state after a wide variety of animals were seen going in pairs toward a large wooden boat.

An eccentric old bearded Jewish man has reportedly been building the boat* since the early 1900s, with Hollywood actors and California residents mocking him for years. But they're not mocking him so much anymore now that the state has received close to 40 days and 40 nights of rain in a row.

Anxiety over the situation increased significantly this past week as through the rain, fog, and snow, Californians witnessed pairs of animals going toward the boat, with some even traveling in packs of seven. Several furries even tried to join them to find shelter from the storm aboard the boat but were turned away by the crotchety old boat builder.

"Well, this can't be good," said local California resident Staci Harper. "This old guy is building a boat and some animals are getting on board. And I'm pretty sure I saw a prophet sitting under a fig tree watching our city from a safe distance."

"This could be bad."

At publishing time, sources had confirmed that a rainbow appeared in the sky, assuring Californians that God would never flood them as He clearly supports the LGBTQ+ movement.

*Sometimes called a "ship" by the picky and pedantic.

A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

Bob Boeing, the founder of Boeing, explains how the number 1 priority for the airline manufacturer is diversity.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more uplifting DEI videos!

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now