BURBANK, CA—ABC announced Tuesday that The View would become the first program in the country to be broadcast in stunning, high-definition silence.
By popular demand, the show will now be broadcast in a soothing, crystal-clear silent mode. The new mode is receiving rave reviews from audiences, who have called the new, completely silent version of The View "quiet" and "serene."
"Test audiences have raved about our new and improved sound quality," said one producer. "We had to fix all the screeching sounds viewers kept complaining about, but no matter what we did to the audio tracks, the shrill noises continued. Finally, we hit on a solution: all episodes will now be broadcast in delicious, high-fidelity nothingness."
"Now, you can enjoy The View without having to hear any of the views."
An upcoming improvement will also display a completely black picture.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.